


Free Tree

by strawberrylace



Series: Holiday One Shots [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylace/pseuds/strawberrylace
Summary: With no time left to spare, Bruce and Tony need to get a Christmas tree fast! But is it worth the risk?
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: Holiday One Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563769
Kudos: 25





	Free Tree

**Author's Note:**

> ThorBruce has become one of my favorite underrated ships so here is a one shot!!

"What do you mean you couldn't find a Christmas tree?" Tony was pacing around the living room. "You mean to tell me that you searched every store and found nothing?"

"Tony, I tried, I swear!" Bruce sighed. "With Christmas quickly approaching, there aren't exactly a whole lot of trees to choose from." 

"What are we going to do?" Tony groaned as he sunk into the couch. "The party is tomorrow! How are we supposed to throw a Christmas party without a tree?"

Bruce paused for a moment. He tried, he really did try to find a Christmas tree today, going to every store in the Golden, Colorado area, but everything he found was either too small, too big, or too bare. Not to mention, everything he saw was much too overpriced. How was it so impossible to find a simple tree on such short notice? It wasn't like they could just go cut their own tree down in the woods and bring it home. 

"I've got it!" Tony jumped up. "We just get one here!" 

Bruce cocked his head slightly. "What do you mean?" 

"I'm talking we cut our own tree down, Banner. We have one in the backyard that shpuld be big enough to fit in the living room. We'll string a few lights here and there and presto! Problem solved. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" 

"Did you just get that idea from That 70's Show? Because if I remember that episode correctly, the gang cut a tree down off the highway and got in trouble with the police!" 

"It's from our own backyard and if I remember that episode clearly, no one got arrested. Besides, who's going to know that a tree is missing from our property?" 

Bruce couldn't believe he was going to agree to this. All because it worked so well on television. "I mean, it's not like we can get in trouble for being on our own property. So which tree is it?" 

Tony and Bruce went out to the back yard. It was pitch black and freezing out. One of the downsides of winter was how dark it got so quickly, Bruce thought as he shone the flashlight on their potential Christmas tree. It was really nice, Bruce had to admit. Not too big and not too small, with branches full and lively. It was going to look even better once it was all decorated. Maybe Tony did have the right idea. 

"Okay, so first things first," said Tony rubbing his hands. "We chop this down." 

"How?" Bruce asked.

Tony couldn't believe Bruce was asking this. "With an axe, duh." 

"But we don't have an axe, Tony. Do you have an anot her way to get this thing down? It's not like I can take it down with my bare hands." 

"You're selling yourself short! Okay, then I guess we get a saw and go from there. Do we have one of those?" 

"No." 

"Well what do we have? We have to have something otherwise you're going to have to rip that out by the roots and take it in yourself!" 

"Wait! I think there's a chainsaw in the garage!" 

"Perfect, I'll be right back."

As Tony ran out to the garage, Bruce stood out in the cold shining his light on the tree. He looked around at the other houses nearby. No one seemed to be home, which was good, considering things were going to get particularly noisy in a bit. Just as he thought of this, he could've sworn he saw a thin shadowy figure in the house next door. 

He knew who lived in that house. He had seen them from time to time. There was a blonde muscular guy who Bruce and Tony had seen go out on his morning run as they left for work. He always waved hello to Bruce and in return, was quite charmed with the runner, developing a tiny crush on him. Tony referred to him as Point Break because of his surfer like blonde hair. Then there was his roommate, a mysterious dark haired fellow who Bruce and Tony saw at night. Tony called him Reindeer Games because one time, Tony had seen him leave the house in a helmet that reminded him of antlers. A better name for him would be Slender Man, but that was Bruce's opinion. 

"Got it!" Tony startled Bruce from behind. 

Bruce jumped up, shining the light directly in Tony's face as he held the chainsaw like a baby. "Don't do that!" Bruce hissed. "I thought I saw one of the neighbors in the house next door." 

Tony looked to his side and saw no one in the house. "Reindeer Games should be at his coven meeting or wherever it is that he goes to," Tony shrugged. "Funny, shouldn't Point Break be home as well?"

"How would I know if he was home or not?" 

"I thought you knew. He's always waving to you when we leave for work." Tony wiggled his eyebrows. 

Bruce scrunched his nose. "What are you implying?That's the only interaction we have!" 

"You really should do more than that. Like, I dunno, actually talk to him." 

"Are you kidding? I don't want his roommate to come after me if I try to make a move." 

Tony stopped for a moment as he tried to start the chainsaw. "Are we even sure they're together? They'd be a pretty odd match if they were." 

"Still, I shouldn't..." 

Tony was able to get the chainsaw to start. With Bruce crouched down and shining the light on the trunk, Tony made the first cut. It was a good thing that Tony was executing this, as he was certainly more handy with appliances and machinery. It was surprising how easy it was for Tony to cut this down. He was about halfway through cutting the trunk when a light came on from next door. Bruce stood up and shone his light but saw no one there. 

"Bruce, I didn't say you could move the light," said Tony, stopping the chainsaw. 

"Someone is in the house," Bruce's voice faltered. 

Tony got up and saw the light was on in the house next door but no one inside. 

"It's probably Point Brea. I don't see anyone," Tony tried to reassure Bruce. "Now come on. We're so close to getting our tree!" 

"Hey! What in Jotunheim are you two barbarians doing with my tree?"

Bruce and Tony screamed, throwing their hands up in the air and the chainsaw into the bushes. The tall, shadowy figure Bruce had seen earlier made his presence known. Reindeer Games was armed with a butcher's knife, dressed in a beautiful velvet green and black robe, his long black hair tied up in a bun, and, to make things scarier, wearing a gold sheet mask. 

"Oh my god," Tony squeaked out. "You can't just scare people like that! Give me some sort of warning before showing your face in whatever you have on!" 

"I scared you?" Reindeer Games snorted. "You're the ones trespassing on private property! What makes you think you can just cut down someone's tree without permission?" 

"Excuse me, but you must be mistaken," Bruce spoke up. "You see, we're cutting this down from our own yard. At least, that's what the property lines tell us." 

"It's BARELY on your line!" Reindeer Games argued. "Based on our property blue prints, the tree is mainly situated in our backyard!" 

Bruce turned to Tony with a scowl on his face. "Tony, what the fuck? Why didn't you double check if it was actually in our yard before cutting it down?"

"Well, damn Bruce! It looked like it was in our yard from where I could see!" Tony tried to be as reasonable as he could.

"Loki? Who's out there?"

Coming out from the back door was a tall, muscular guy with golden blonde hair tied back, dressed in a red fuzzy robe and slipper socks. His face appeared to be covered in green goo. What was it with these two and face masks, Tony and Bruce were wondering.

"I heard noises, brother," Point Break came over to see what was going on. He saw Bruce immediately and smiled. "Oh, hi Bruce! What brings you over here?" 

"Hi..," Bruce replied nervously. He knew his name. How did he know his name? 

"Thor, thank Odin's beard you're here!" Loki exclaimed with exasperation. "Our neighbors are trying to steal our tree! I'm about to call the police on them. Can you believe people would do something so heinous?" 

"Okay, heinous?" Tony couldn't believe how pretentious Loki was being. "It's a fucking tree!" 

"Tony, please!" Bruce held his friend back. He knew he shouldn't have listened to Tony. Now they were going to get arrested over a dumb tree that probably wasn't even theirs to begin with. He then turned to Thor and Loki, in hopes that perhaps he could get through to them. "Look, this was all a huge misunderstanding. You see, Tony and I are never got our Christmas tree for the house. We've been so busy with work that we never had the time to get one! I tried to find one today but that was a bust. So Tony talked me into seeing if we could cut this one down, which we thought was ours. It's just hard to tell when there's no fence! Which brings us back to here. We're really sorry we cut half of your tree down." 

"Don't forget that we also tried to throw the chainsaw away," Tony added. 

Loki was still angry, particularly at Tony. Thor was trying to find the words to say after listening to Bruce explain. 

"If you wanted the tree, you could've just asked," said Thor. "I've been wanting to cut it down myself but kept putting it off. Plus, I just assumed it was your tree. At least, from where I'm standing, it looks like it's more on your side than it is on ours." 

"Oh," said Bruce. "You wanted to cut it down?" 

"Yeah, the thing is such a nuisance, especially where it was planted. I'm glad you guys are getting rid of it. Though, I have to ask, why use a chainsaw?" 

"We don't have an axe or a saw," Tony explained. "Looking back, a chainsaw was a poor choice in noise volume." 

"Yeah, no kidding!" Loki laughed. "You interrupted our face mask night!" 

"That's what you call that?" Tony pointed to the gold mask on Loki's face. 

"Yeah, it's silly, we know," Thor admitted. "But it's a nice way for my brother and I to unwind after a stressful day." 

"You're brothers?" Tony and Bruce asked in unison. 

"Adopted," Loki corrected. "Anyway, since you two seem to be pretty decent, I guess I won't call the police on you and I forgive you. But just note that if you try to hack anything with that ghastly thing you call a chainsaw in the dark again, I will call the police." 

With a huff, Loki marched back into the house. Tony just rolled his eyes as he grabbed the chainsaw from the bushes and finished cutting down the tree. When the tree toppled over, Thor helped Bruce and Tony bring the tree into the house and set everything up. While watching Bruce and Thor finally hit it off, Tony couldnt help but think all he needed to do was have his crazy neighbor almost try to get them arrested. Sometimes, it paid to have insane ideas.


End file.
